The Numberless Agent

Taskmaster contacted me today and set up a meet for Friday at 1830. I will be going-- but I won't say no to covert backup. For all the good it'll do; that fucker will probably spot 'em right away.


[Private to AGENT 14]
Twitch, I'm forwarding the email to you, so you can try and work your magic. Don't get too frustrated if you can't trace it-- Taskmaster hasn't survived this long by being stupid. Any edge you can provide would be most appreciated, though.


[Private]
GOD I HATE THAT FUCKER. Why? WHY NOW? WHY ME? Hasn't he tormented me enough for one fucking lifetime? Ugh! I really hope I get the chance to shoot and/or stab and/or zap him this time. So much. SO MUCH!

Fucking Taskmaster. Fucking Hydra. Fuck my fucking life.

Seems the time is nigh. I'm off to Malibu to help 19 with her mission against Monica Rappacini and AIM.

[Private to FURY + CAP]
Unless there's some dire reason I'm needed here? Let me know ASAP, please, as I'm planning to be in California by tonight.
[/End Private]

[Private to NYC Avengers]
Be prepared to schedule those evaluations when I get back, please. Also, if anyone wants an idea of what to expect, you're welcome to observe me when I go.
[/End Private]

Fair warning: communications may be spotty and I'm not sure how long I'll be gone.

Take care all.

For those who are interested, there's leftover Halloween candy in the kitchen. Take as little or much as you like. Anything left at the end of next week will get tossed, though-- I don't want us attracting ants like I did in my apartment last year.

Also, a number of pictures of people and pets in Avengers Halloween costumes have showed up in the mail the last few days, so I stuck a few on the bulletin board. Baby Hulk! Kindergarten Thor with Inflatable Hammer! Crocodile Iron Man! The rest are in a manila envelope on the desk below for anyone interested. Be warned, though-- a few are, um... on the risqué side of things. Or just gross.

On the business side of things, I'd like to evaluate everyone's hand to hand and weapons skills over the next few weeks. S.H.I.E.L.D. wants us to be prepared in case something affects our abilities/powers again.

I'm not expecting the evals to take more than 2-3 hours, so it'd be great if everyone could schedule a 3 hour block with me at their earliest convenience. And, should I be called out to join Mockingbird, either Cap or someone from S.H.I.E.L.D. will take over.

Thanks all.

[Private to CAP]
Cap, if you'd like to participate in the evaluation process, please let me know. The mandate was given to me but, as the leader and a soldier, your input is more than welcome.

And, regardless, I'll need you to evaluate me-- with Jan if you'd like, since she is your second-in-command, or another S.H.I.E.L.D. agent if you prefer a more neutral party.

Anyway, just let me know what you'd like. I really don't want to step on any toes here; I just want to know where the team's at. And, if anyone isn't up to par, help get them there.


[Private to WASP]
I know I don't have the right but I need to ask you a favor. My costume is just-- terrible. I know it is. And Lil was saying things about teenaged boys that make me cringe. But it's all I've got and I'm no fashionista. Which you know.

So... would you maybe be willing to help me figure out some kind of redesign or something? Please? Jean-Paul thought you would be; I'm not convinced. I just don't know what to do here.



(OOC: text was typed then deleted)

"Arrived safely in Wisconsin last night. Since the whole porn thing didn't happen (lucky for him), I'm searching out the infamous Weasel using some of our more old-fashioned methods.

"Personally, I'm hoping that means using my fists. I could use a good fight; it feels like it's been a while.

"I plan to trek out to where the auditions were meant to take place today. Will keep the agency appraised of any progress I make. Hopefully this time will be more successful than our last attempt at finding him.

"Drew out."


(OOC: quote marks are meant to represent a voice post)

Right. So I'm finally being called for that super secret mission I had to stay in London for. The one that's so secret I can't even be briefed on it except in person. Brilliant. Maybe that means I can finally get back home sometime soon.

I've got to go off grid for a small side mission for S.H.I.E.L.D. Shouldn't be gone longer than a day-- maybe two. Cheers.

"New orders from Fury. Apparently Thirteen's staying on as a more long-term liaison to MI:13 and I'm going to be staying with her for another week or two to help her get settled in. Don't know if Nineteen will be staying, too, or not...

"So, Wisdom and co-- you get to see my pretty face a little longer, you lucky devils.


[PRIVATE]
"Cryptic orders from Fury, what a shock. Important mission coming up but no details other than it's better if I stay in Britain until after the fact.

"Yeah, great, because I don't have a life.

"Oh, wait...

"And is it just me or is Carter being reassigned because of a particular affair more than anything else? But that could just be hearsay. (Maybe.)

"I sort of hope Morse does go back tomorrow. She's still being a bitchcake about what happened. I told her-- what else did she expect? I'm a woman of my word. Just because she didn't like that word... well, that's not my problem.

"No, my problem is Whitman. I've been counting down the days as a means to keep self-control but now... yeah. Dunno what to do about that. Damn him. The man is too effing pretty.

"Sigh. Guess I'll just have to suck it up. Lucky me.
[/PRIVATE]


"Drew out."



(OOC: quote marks are to indicate it's a voice post)

SO APPARENTLY THE COMPUTER HACKER WEASEL SENT OUT THIS AD RECENTLY. BALLSY. STUPID BUT BALLSY.

FURY'S GOT PEOPLE BACKTRACING ITS ORIGIN RIGHT NOW. (19 APPARENTLY HE'S A KNOWN ASSOCIATE OF DEADPOOL.) AND ONCE THEY GET TO THE ORIGINAL EMAIL GUESS WHO GETS TO GO UNDERCOVER?

NOT. HAPPY.

I AM SO NOT HAPPY, I'M TYPING THIS MESSAGE WITH A STUPID BROKEN KEYBOARD THAT WILL NOT LET ME STOP WRITING IN CAPS. STUPID FUCKING MACHINE. NOT TO MENTION HOW MUCH I HATE TYPING IN THE FIRST DAMN PLACE.

I GET IT, THOUGH. AN AGENT WITH POWERS SHOULD HAVE A BETTER SHOT OF GETTING OUT ALIVE IF COMPROMISED WHEN DEADPOOL OR ANY OF WEASEL'S SUPERPOWERED CLIENTS ARE PRESENT.

I DON'T LIKE IT BUT I GET IT.

I HEARD A RUMOR THAT HIS SIGNATURE WAS FOUND ON THE OVERRIDE HACK THAT LET MAGNETO TAKE OVER THE TELEVISION WAVES DURING THE EMMYS. GUESS THAT EXPLAINS WHY HE'S GETTING SPECIAL PRIORITY.

STUPID. I AM NOT TAKING MY CLOTHES OFF FOR A CAMERA, HEAR ME? IT IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN! THAT'S JUST-- UGH!

DREW OUT.

P.S. THE CAPS KIND OF MAKE IT LOOK LIKE I'M ANGRY, DON'T THEY? I THINK I LIKE THAT.

"I cannot believe Fury. He expects me to go interrogate that-- that man! He knows; he must know. He's General fucking Fury, of course he knows.

"I would give anything to trade this assignment. Anything.

"Bolt was the first superpowered person I ever came up against. I was young. I was Hydra. And I was owned-- badly.

"Going to see him will be like losing. I will not be humiliated that way. I won't be.

"That's not who I am anymore. And if I met him on the street, I know it wouldn't go the same way again. I know it.

"I just can't stand that he doesn't. And there won't be a damn thing I can do to prove it.

"Motherfucker. I cannot believe this shit. Sucks."



(OOC: Reminder-- Jess does her posts verbally, hence the quote marks.)

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