The Numberless Agent

Weasel finally made contact. He sent a list of weapons options and mentioned making custom items. I plan to email him again within the next week with what my "employer" would like.

Also, leftover birthday cake is in the breakroom. No, I won't tell you how old I am now. If you're clearance is high enough, read my file. Otherwise, don't ask.


[Private to FURY]
Do you have any preferences about what kind of weapons the list consists of? Speak now or forever hold your peace.

Also, Worthington, Osborn and da Costa never saw me. Thanks for the charity auction assignment. Was loads of fun for the night before my birthday.

(Oh and thanks for the gift. It was surprisingly sweet. I may just forgive you for the above mentioned.)


[Private to 14]
I'm sending you his email address and forwarding you our exchange to see if you can get any traces off it. Please, please be careful, though-- I don't want to spook him. (I know you will be but I'm feeling a little paranoid. You understand, right?)


[Private to 19]
Are you around?

SO APPARENTLY THE COMPUTER HACKER WEASEL SENT OUT THIS AD RECENTLY. BALLSY. STUPID BUT BALLSY.

FURY'S GOT PEOPLE BACKTRACING ITS ORIGIN RIGHT NOW. (19 APPARENTLY HE'S A KNOWN ASSOCIATE OF DEADPOOL.) AND ONCE THEY GET TO THE ORIGINAL EMAIL GUESS WHO GETS TO GO UNDERCOVER?

NOT. HAPPY.

I AM SO NOT HAPPY, I'M TYPING THIS MESSAGE WITH A STUPID BROKEN KEYBOARD THAT WILL NOT LET ME STOP WRITING IN CAPS. STUPID FUCKING MACHINE. NOT TO MENTION HOW MUCH I HATE TYPING IN THE FIRST DAMN PLACE.

I GET IT, THOUGH. AN AGENT WITH POWERS SHOULD HAVE A BETTER SHOT OF GETTING OUT ALIVE IF COMPROMISED WHEN DEADPOOL OR ANY OF WEASEL'S SUPERPOWERED CLIENTS ARE PRESENT.

I DON'T LIKE IT BUT I GET IT.

I HEARD A RUMOR THAT HIS SIGNATURE WAS FOUND ON THE OVERRIDE HACK THAT LET MAGNETO TAKE OVER THE TELEVISION WAVES DURING THE EMMYS. GUESS THAT EXPLAINS WHY HE'S GETTING SPECIAL PRIORITY.

STUPID. I AM NOT TAKING MY CLOTHES OFF FOR A CAMERA, HEAR ME? IT IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN! THAT'S JUST-- UGH!

DREW OUT.

P.S. THE CAPS KIND OF MAKE IT LOOK LIKE I'M ANGRY, DON'T THEY? I THINK I LIKE THAT.

"Da Costa has invited me to be part of his company soccer team. This should bring me into direct contact with Warren Worthington III thanks to an upcoming game-- an unexpected bonus to this undercover assignment.

"I know we spoke of perhaps making the da Costa job more permanent if there was anything of import discovered but it seems he's simply a businessman that happens to be a mutant. I believe I can continue keeping tabs on him through this soccer team alone. Assuming you approve, Fury.

"Other than that, I have only to say that I have a newfound respect for people working in admin. It is so boring that I sometimes have strange daydreams about melting into a puddle of jelly just to escape the monotony.

"Needless to say, I'm hoping Fury will take me up on my idea. Administration is not for me.

"Honestly, why can't I ever have undercover assignments where I get to fire a gun? Or fight people. Now that I could get behind.

"Drew out."


(OOC: Reminder that Jess does her posts verbally, hence the quote marks.)

"Well, Van Dyne was found out. Don't know if that will make my job easier, harder or obsolete.

"If my Janet assignment does end, it may be time to retire Miri Johnson as Northstar has joined the Avengers. Aurora being linked to the team, like Quicksilver, makes her much easier to monitor. Not to mention that she lives with her brother-- we'll know if anything goes awry.

"By the way, thanks for that word a day calendar, Fury. Today's word was awry, in case you were wondering.

"Assignment status: Outlaw-- contact will soon be established to determine whether she is looking to stay short- or long-term. Sunspot-- Twitchy is working something up to have me in the temp pool at Da Costa Industries. Van Dyne-- current status unknown; should have update in next few days. A.I.M.-- still haven't had much progress with Project: Scorpion.

"Also, I have outlined a proposal for infiltrating the Hellfire Club. There is something going on there and no one seems to know what it is. I aim to change that. The only problem is finding a way in. Much as I loathe to admit it, this may be an assignment for someone else.

"It will all be discussed in my meeting with Fury next week. No sense in worrying about it now.

"Drew out."


(OOC: As always, Jess does her posts verbally, hence the quote marks.)

"Finished my mission report. It was painful, just like always.

"At least everything went without a hitch. I observed the facility. I compromised their security (which required wearing one of those stupid yellow outfits but at least it covered my face. I got the files on Project: Scorpion onto a disc and then returned home again.

The only frustrating part was Rappaccini. According to S.H.I.E.L.D. intel, she was meant to come to the facility with the Scorpion project. I spent days and days on stakeout but it was for naught. She never showed. And I got a sore back from cramped conditions.

"Ugh. Bad intel always pisses me off.

"Well, anyway. It's back to my normal day job for me. Not so bad, really, considering I'm starting with a Girl's Night out with Janet and Jeanne-Marie.

"Actually, it's kind of weird now. I didn't care much for either at the start of our relationship but now... I think it might be nice to have a real friendship with both of them. There's nothing for it, though-- that's my job and I'm very good at it. Blessing and a curse.

"Hear that, Fury? My life-- hard. Don'tcha think I deserve a raise for my efforts?

"Yeah, yeah. Government job, dream on.

"Drew out."


OOC: Jess does all of her logs verbally, hence the quote marks. They're stored on the server just like the written ones, though, and can be played for others to hear if not marked private. (Think LJ voice post.) People can then comment in writing if they like and she'll respond in kind.